Dating Advice from Three Day Rule's Senior Matchmaker, Nora DeKeyser
I sat down with Three Day Rule's Senior Matchmaker, Nora DeKeyser, to talk about the top dating questions she hears.
Nora, thanks for your time. Tell us a little about yourself.
My first experience of love was a 3.5 year emotionally abusive relationship. I lost myself, my family, and my friends. When I got out of that relationship, I knew I had found my life purpose: to teach other people their self-worth. I never wanted another human to go through the pain that I had endured. When I started sharing this message and empowering others about their own self-worth, people began to call me about their incredible transitions. People began to find love in themselves and very quickly find love with a romantic partner thereafter. It was beautiful, and it snowballed fast. I then decided to make this passion into a profession and started my career as a professional matchmaker. After 4 years of being a Matchmaker professionally, I can very happily say that I have changed the lives of thousands of people! Good love is what life is all about!
What are the top questions you hear as a matchmaker?
-Are there any good guys/girls left? There are.
-Am I too old to date? You’re not.
-Where do I find a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nora has suggestions!
-Why am I single? That’s answered next.
There are a lot of single people looking for a partner. What other tips might you have for them?
The best way to attract your ideal match is to BE your ideal match. I meet a lot of people who have a checklist of what they are looking for in a future partner, but when I turn that same checklist back on them, they only embody half of the qualities they are looking for in a partner. If you want someone who is in shape and takes care of their body, you should also be in shape and take care of your body. If you want someone who loves their job and loves their life, you should love your job and love your life!
The common saying, "Love will happen when you least expect it" is not true. The perfect person is not going to show up on your doorstep. You have to put time and intention toward your dating life. The first part of this equation is time: If you don't have boundaries in your life regarding work/life balance, you will most likely never meet your future partner because you aren't allowing enough room for them! Make time for a future partner. The second part of this equation is effort: You have to put effort into your dating endeavors. This can be manifested by going to events that you personally enjoy. If you like to hike, joining a hiking club. If you like to travel, join a singles traveling club (there are so many!). If you like to ski join a skiing club. If you like being in the "scene", join soho house. Just get yourself out there and do the things that YOU love to do- you'll be filling up your life and will most likely meet someone there.
What are the top 3 qualities that men are looking for in a relationship?
Men are attracted to women who are confident. Have you ever met a woman who is always attracting men - you can't quite figure it out because she's pretty but might not be the most beautiful model in the world? Why is she attracting all of these men? Its because she has confidence. Men want a women who is clear and strong in who she is and what she is worth.
Men want to feel NEEDED. Men are normally more insecure than women. The #1 trait that men crave in a romantic partner is someone that makes them feel needed in some capacity. When a woman shows her sensitive and feminine side, men feel like they can protect her in some ways - this is very reassuring and attractive to a man.
Men always tell me that they are looking for someone who is passionate. They don't care what the woman is passionate about as long as she has passion for something. Men are attracted to women who have a zest for life and exploration.
What are the top 3 qualities women are looking for in a relationship?
The #1 quality that women tell me they are looking for in a future romantic partner is someone who is ready for a serious and committed relationship. Connection can happen between two people at any time, but women don't like to waste their time on someone who isn't long-term minded.
Women want to feel SAFE and PROTECTED in a relationship. Women are always attracted to men who show these qualities. The feeling of safety to a woman can come in many forms, but some of the following are common manifestations: being financially stable, having long-term friendships or close family relationships, being emotionally stable, walking on the side of the street that the cars are on, walking a girl to her car late at night, holding a woman close and cuddling her.
A man who can open up emotionally and talk about his feelings openly and honestly. Men are generally known to be worse at opening up. A man who can openly share his vulnerable feelings is very attractive to a woman.