Why You and Your Partner Need to be Using Sex Toys Together


I frequently hear from women that they are able to orgasm using a vibrator, but they have trouble climaxing with their partner. Most women express fears of even discussing bringing a toy into their sexual activities with their partner. Often, they’re afraid of hurting their partner’s feelings, but the truth is that a loving partner will be open to exploring what works to bring her pleasure. Studies show that the more satisfied you both are the stronger it’ll make your partnership.

Let’s look at some of the common misconceptions about bringing sex toys into the bedroom with your partner.

Top 3 Misconceptions About Partnered Sex Toy Use

  1. It’s a reflection of a partner’s sexual abilities. You do not suck in bed because your partner is using a sex toy. Only about 30% of women can climax from penetration alone. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and often it’s a very specific type of clitoral stimulation. So, if she’s found a sex toy that works, be grateful.

  2. A sex toy is a replacement for a partner. It’s understandable that you might have fears that her sex toy is somehow going to be more awesome than you and will therefore replace you. But actually sex toys are an enhancement to your sexual activities. Nothing can replace a partner and the intimacy you two can share together.

  3. She’ll become reliant on sex toys. There’s a common fear that with frequent sex toy use the woman’s nether regions will become dependent on the toy and she will no longer be able to experience pleasure from other forms of stimulation. This is not going to happen. You can desensitize the clit temporarily, especially if the toy is being used on the highest setting all the time. But a little time away from your toy and all will go back to normal again.

4 Truths About Adding Sex Toys to Your Partnered Play

  1. You’ll both feel greater satisfaction. Studies, like a 2016 study by Chapman University, indicate that couples that use sex toys together report a higher level of satisfaction with their relationship and the sex they’re having together. Orgasms release happy chemicals like endorphins and oxytocin, which helps with intimacy and partner bonding. Bottom line: you’re both going to feel happier, more satisfied and more connected as a couple.

  2. It helps with communication. Have a discussion with your partner outside the bedroom when you’re both feeling open and non-judgmental. Most couples are uncomfortable talking about it, but it can really transform your relationship to invite such discussions, and you’ll find that it can deepen communication in every area of your relationship.

  3. It’s sexy. Using toys on each other can be a huge turn-on. If it brings your sweetheart pleasure, how could that not be sexy?

  4. It’ll encourage exploration. The willingness to try new things will help expand your relationship and sexual pleasure potentials immensely. Males and females can both enjoy vibrators, because there are a lot of nerve endings in the genital region to stimulate. Try a couples vibe, or use a massager type of vibrator on each other. Explore and discover what satisfies you both!

SexAntonia Hall